I Haven't Heard from You in a While - How You Doing?

Two songs (1, 2 -- thanks, dude) are profoundly affecting my life right now. Make that three.

Also:

• Kathryn Johnston, 92, is (was?) a FUCKING GANGSTER! Don't mean to make light of the situation, but this is a bit nuts.
• It's about time somebody started looking out for us white folks.
• Hot topic -- again, race related -- at UCLA right now.

Catching Up

In the last month I've...

• Masqueraded as Borat
• Mocked people openly
• Seen two Bears' wins
• Witnessed Kevin Smith passed out sleeping on the floor

No lie.

Marginally Inappropriate

If this is anybody but Dave Letterman, you're stealing my bit! Great idea. Fucking hilarious.

Well, Not Quite, But...

I'm first to admit that it's been slow going here at the Cake Factory. My staff abandoned me. Overhead tripled. Stinkin' kids are always crying, "we haven't eaten all week." And there are other things -- which happen at night, in the dark, while I'm indisposed -- that I can't comment on. But I've got a moment here, so imma catch up on lost time:

• Happy birthday (yesterday), Greasy Kid!
• This happen a while ago, but I'm just as fascinated with it now as I was then. This is fucking brilliant! Note to self: meet Corbin Bernsen.
• Harcore political analysis and group sex? Sign me up.
• The new TV on the Radio is incredibly addictive. "Wolf Like Me" is blowing up my playlist something wicked.
• Most won't appreciate this clip, but if it connects with even just one netizen, I've done my job.
• Speaking of my job -- there's a crazy story behind this episode, ask me about it sometime. I know it doesn't take much to make Grease cry, but I got him on this one. It's related to this.
• I think this may happen to Alex at the Woodies.
• Just because.
  

Whoo Whoo

In a big way.

The Tubes are Making Rock Stars

Maybe it's just because I'm professionally connected to this whole big bowl of strawberry jello, but I'm fascinated by viral video success stories. Here's one of the latest, and it's remarkable even for YouTube, which cranks out several a week.

Fallout

It's like the Simpson's episode where Homer takes the cannonball in the belly -- I could just watch this happen again and again. It's always funny.

Muito Brasil

Where futbol is life.

W.A.T.G. XXIII

"I Will Fight You"

FAN-tastic.

W.A.T.G. XXII

Bigger than Guns, Bigger than Cigarettes

Check Slug on our show "Backstage Pass," speaking on the midweezer, Rhymesayers and still chomping about how Atmos doesn't have groupies. Also, peep their latest vid: "Say Hey There (Gotta Go to Mexico)" windows / mac.

BTW, what the fuck is up with dude's hair? Carlos: easy.

Some Days You Eat the Bear

And some days the bear eats you.

I'll Throw it Down Your Throat Like..

"Crazy" (windows / mac / download): Internet meme? In case you've been living in a cave, here's the backstory.

Also, unencumbered pancakes = blogging fool.

Drug Dens for Internet Addicts

Those wacky Tokyoians are at it again! Interesting stuff. And for the record, I'm all for a place where you can plug in, pour through media, smoke cigs and fuck -- all for 10 bucks!

Can't Make this Stuff Up Dept.

So this guy Tommy cuts my hair. He’s Ramones-esque, been rocking out in NY for several decades, lives life on his terms, looks like he’s palled around with heroin before – good people. We bullshit all the time while he’s trimming me up. He calls me “Mr. MTV big shot” and knows I’m a life long hip hop fan.

I was completely unprepared for the story he laid on me the other night.

Tommy: Did I tell you about my hip hop faker moment? This crazy shit?
Me: Naw man.
T: Dude! Get this. I just moved to Crown Heights. I’m the only white, punk-rock son of a bitch around. But I greet people with respect, so I get respect back, right? Well I’m at the store last week buying ice cream.
M: Yeah.
T: And these two big black guys roll up on me. I mean, I’m a little tiny motherfucker, so everybody’s big next to me. But they were big. And they got those golf hats on that the hip hoppers wear. Whaddayou call ‘em?
M: Kangols.
T: Yeah, Kangols. Fucking old school. I remember that shit from when there waddnt no yuppies below 14th street. Couldn’t even walk around LES or Alphabet City after dark. Anyway. These black dudes tell me they’re making a NASCAR commercial. Ask me if I’m a singer.
M: Random.
T: Hell yeah random. But come on, they look at me, crazy looking punk-rock white dude in Crown Heights…they could smell it on me. They knew I had chops. And you know, I aint never did no NASCAR commercials, but I sing loud, angry, rock ballads. I’m allright.
M: I bet.
T: So I’m like what the fuck right? This dude tells me he’ll give me a hundred bucks. Says he tried to do it himself, but he sounds too urban. They need some of that Stephen Tyler shit. Something for the NASCAR fans.
M: So what happen?
T: I went with ‘em. Their studio was actually in their apartment, but it was CRAZY dude, all kinds of microphones and mixing boards and all that shit. And it was funny, cuz when I walked in, there were pictures of the one dude with all these stars…like Slick Rick? And Eddie Murphy, and that chick from Blondie and some others. You ever heard of Dana Dane?
M: Fuck yeah I’ve heard of Dana Dane! Dude’s a legend, man! Total pioneer. He was way involved in hip hop’s golden age.
T: See, that’s what I thought. Anyway, he’s making fucking NASCAR commercials now. They had me sing some corny shit, “Doooooing the checkered flag, waaaaaave-ah, doooing the checkered flag WAVE!” Then they had me sing overdubs, “NASCAAAAAR, owwww!” A few other ones too. They wanted that soulful white boy shit. No problem.
M: That’s a nutty story man.
T: Hell yeah, but I didn’t think nothing of it. This guy said that if everything goes through, they’re going to get all kinds of money for this commercial. He said he’d hook me up. Like thousands of dollars. I don’t care about that shit. I only care about my music. And eating my fucking ice cream. Nice guy, that Dana Dane.

Only in New York, baby.

In an added bit of total wonkiness, Noodles is collaborating with Dana Dane on the new hit single, “No Amount of Money.” Support them motherfuckers!

Why "Viral Video" is Viral

Even money Carlos gets The Silent Laughs. Shouts to A-Wonner for the heads up.

Literally, Underground

This is why I moved to New York. More pics here. The next one pops off Sunday 4.23 @ 6pm. Last car on the uptown-bound 6 train from Astor Place.

Oh Shit, We Have a Blog?

Hello? Hellooooo? Anybody there?

:wrongnumber:

W.A.T.G. XXI

Best Seat in the House

Ethrina sent me this. It's really fucking funny.

Jes, got your tickets yet?

What up fam?! Been busy with some bugged activities lately. I think the storm has passed.

INNOVATE / EXECUTE it's 2006!

Well, my company has a new banner up to help motivate the cogs for the '06. I was thinking we could start applying these same principles to the blog. No really, it could benefit us all. I mean, the marketing specialist that designed this banner is probably getting paid as much as my whole office, so it's got to be good stuff. Let's go over them together:

• Own & Ignite Authentic Development (Is that an image of a bomb? wuh? You want me to set fire to this building? Ok, I guess I could do that)
• Enhance a Culture of Service (This one is my favorite as it represents a subject from each race, gender, creed & has the token wheelchair guy....you can't be diverse without that guy)
• Elevate Quality Production (note the finger pushing the elevator button, that's just plain smart right there)

So we could all learn a lot from this banner. Let's innovate and execute while still kicking it up a notch, shall we? Good, good.

W.A.T.G. XX

Two die of carbon monoxide poisoning

What a way to goOUT... If it didn't happen in Milwaukee, it'd be hard to tell if this was real or an Onion article.

Early

The annual spring ragga freakout doesn't typically arrive until mid-April, but I guess it's running ahead of schedule this year. Ready or not!

W.A.T.G. XIX

Get it, Greaser!

1,000 Words

Great moment in crew history.

Found

Oh shit!, where you been, son? Just one question: "Can I get one of those fresh, young beers there player?"

Switch like the Wu Tang Symbol

Clan in the front, let your feet stomp! I'd like to make a documentary about Cappadonna. I used to think he was just a butt emcee, but that dude is fascinating -- that's my word.

Let's Gdansk

"Polka's taken a bad rap," Mr. Sturr said. "Everybody thinks it's for your grandmother or your grandfather. Everybody thinks of 'Lawrence Welk' — which was a great show, don't get me wrong — but it's not like that. It's very updated. We've Americanized polka a lot."

And for that, he's worthy of scorn. Look at this bastard! Polka Disco indeed.

Also, this just in from the *holy fucking shit* dept.

Dad, don't Read the Times Today

There's an odd string of words in there.

Party Like it's Your 10th Birthday

For those that slept, wake up.

FOR HIRE

Am I the only asshole that is greeted each and every morning with a 4' x 8' banner reminding me to convey a smile in my voice over the telephone? Sorry I've been away from the cake for a minute, but I've been exhausting all of my energy in doing whatever it takes to get away from said banner. Thus far, my only solution is to steal it while working late one night and stuff it into a dumpster. I need to get out of here. Piss on my soul.

Missing? Yes. Gone? No.

I aint forget youse. Just waiting for the crop of spring interns to come on board and get fluent/engaged. Turns out admin and blogging *are* mutually exclusive!

In the meantime, check out this song and video from Tom Vek. The snare and organ blend are indeed setting the fire in me (CC) lately. Ill video.

W.A.T.G. XVIII

Headphone Jones

New music I'm feeling, on Ed's block and all over the city.

Church and State Dept.

No, seriously, I have nothing to gain by you watching this.

On the macro tip, short form programming is where it's headed. It frees you up to do interesting things with tee-vee again. I guess a-lot of people like 24, Dancing with the Stars and Will and Grace, but there haven't been many original ideas in long form for at least several decades.

The Midwest is a Bleak Place

Yet oddly endearing. Rusted, American cars. Everything moves a bit slower. Large groups of old friends hang out for no particular reason. The nasaley accent, which I used to loathe, and now find sexy on a midwestern bittie. Lots of humble folk. Y'all hold it down.

W.A.T.G. XVII