The Male Uniform

When was it exactly that “fashion” became something that meant anything to men? I mean, that entails some sort of work. Traditionally, a simple T-shirt with a logo or phrase that supported something we were into cut the mustard. Now, if you’ve left the house in the last few years and gone anywhere with a crowd, it’s quite evident that we’ve adopted some of the same ideals as women when it comes to dress. You know, the “Male Uniform.” The key is an untucked button up cotton/polyester blend long-sleeved dress shirt. Don’t button the cuffs and leave two or three of the top chest buttons undone. Perfect. Now throw on some fitting jeans, some dress shoes (make sure they match your belt, son!) and toss a palm of goop in your hair. Now you’re part of the army. The go out to get drunk and chase pussy army where sloppy is supposed to look sophisticated. It’s a rather unelite club because all you have to do to join is have a dick and dress this way. This is pretty much the standard get-up now with all these wanna-be metrosexuals (and I don’t like using that word, it’s WAY too Maxim/Men’s Health). I guess I’m just disappointed to see guys voluntarily dismiss their individualism. You’ve got to wonder if a girl will ever be able to pick you out of the crowd now. How are you supposed to stand out above the rest of these fools out there with the same motives? There’s no point of difference anymore, so you best get a really dope car or actually have a personality. Most guys just shit some cheese-dick garble out of their mouth. And that does work at times. Throw enough shit at the wall, and some of it is going to stick. Why not.